1. |
The Deathlife
01:07
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I get depressed so I do some more.
It’s just a dose of sadness.
But I don’t wanna do it more.
I wanna “live like the fish.”
Do some more.
I don’t want any more.
“I just want to be pure.”
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2. |
Sleepyhead
02:15
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Prozac and Xanax- all good drugs I ignore,
along with the pain of the world,
and how it likes to hurt,
and all the tasks I can’t get through.
You see a light and I see dark,
depressed sad and stark
life’s cold reality
of endless suffering.
We’re born only to weep.
So I escape in sleep.
‘Sleep it all away to heaven. Sleep it all the way to hell.
Sleep it all away but know you’re not locked in a cell.”
Sleep it all away from the pain only drugs can treat.
“So lay down, stay down, breakdown in your bed.”
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3. |
Loserman
02:19
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Loser of love,
Loser of life,
Loser of hope,
Loser of mind,
Loser of heart,
Loser of sight of a wider world suffering outside.
Light me up in effigy. Light me up in flames.
Light me up in effigy. Light me up in effigy.
Light me up in flames cause the only woe is me.
I met a girl whose brother passed
out of nowhere in a car crash,
And a baby boy whose daddy died
five weeks before he came to life.
Light me up in effigy. Light me up in flames.
Light me up in effigy. Light me up in flames cause the only woe is me.
Just get by and die, get by and die.
Let your depression pour the pity onto you.
Just get by and die, get by and die.
See the world in a melancholic blue.
Just get by and die, get by and die.
Ignore the richness and privilege you have known.
Just get by and die, get by and die.
sink in your sea all on your own, but you’re not alone.
Yeah you’re on your own, but you’re not alone.
No, you’re not alone.
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4. |
True Hardcore (II)
02:34
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Deeply depressed kids
seeking art to mean
more than
a gathering of friends,
happy little clones.
striking a pose,
Something,
you could never feel,
freeing.
Like I expected you to. Too true for you.
Pseudo and false to the core
keeping the gates closed:
Won’t you
get over yourself.
We don’t want through.
Leave us alone.
You’re killing
purest joy in life:
the Feeling.
Like I expected you to. It’s too true for you.
1-2-O-U
Nothing.
Not a damn thing, to the “evil-fake,”
We, the “evergreen” owe you nothing.
Not a damn thing, to the “evil-fake,”
We’re the “evergreen.”
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5. |
Welcome to the Situation
01:27
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Sea levels rising.
Father’s in bed.
Deserts widening.
and his clocks wont tick.
Democracy’s dying.
He needs some rest.
Hate killed Love,
the old man’s depressed.
So, what do you wanna say?
“Tell the boys and the girls:
Skuzz the noise. Fix your world.’”
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6. |
Sullenboy
03:19
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Sun comes up on another day of staring right at the floor.
hiding my eyes and sad man sighs ‘I can’t take anymore.
and ‘I’m so tired. I’m so fried from the failure inside my mind.
I think I’ll hide, I think I’ll die, and quit this life-bit for a while.”
I feel the fear, I feel the fear,
I feel the fear I can’t repair broken records of family trees.
I feel the fear I will repeat.
Depressive Irish genes may have me breathing dismal poems,
Sad Shepard recipes for generations of laying low.
But I got fire, I got light – she’s in the mire by my side,
hand in hand in the ice, cold night and mothering our brand new life.
Yeah I got fire, I got light – they’re three feet tall and smile bright.
Their day is young and their future’s wide,
and I’ll die before I don’t help them rise.
So face it, face it, face it all:
Replace it, replace, replace with love
So face it, face it, face it all:
and watch it, see it, feel it grow.
I feel the fear, I feel the fear,
I feel the fear I can’t repair broken records of family trees.
I feel the fear I will repeat.
So face it, face it, face it all:
Replace it, replace, replace with love
So face it, face it, face it all:
and watch it grow.
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7. |
Give It Time (II)
01:21
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21 days, and I’ll be good.
12 steps again, let’s give it time.
Just a few more years, and we’re outta the woods.
21 days, a few more years, another12 steps and I’ll be fine.
21 days, just a few more years, 12 more steps and I’ll be fine.
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8. |
Queen of Limerick
02:33
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Ode to family watching me glow:
AKA a fire’s in me and I can’t let it show.
Lost & alone - everything is fine.
Short on rent - everything is fine.
Unemployed - everything is fine.
In need of a bed - everything is fine.
Smile.
Psych ward again - everything is fine.
Back in the pen - everything is fine.
12 steps again - everything is fine.
Old man’s still dead and ev,….everything is just just fine.
Smile.
Look at me when I’m on fire.
I can’t smile.
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9. |
The Woes
02:43
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To the strange,
stuck-in-bed,
death-obsessed,
Fiddleheads –
“In death there is no pain, then in death we can escape.”
My friend I see your logic and I understand your way,
but don’t you see it’s a circle like your cycle of pain.
I can see you and me suffering silently.
We’re visible and we’re seen when life is everything.
In a world of platitudes there’s one that I can trust
and its a Lucretius truth that death is nothing to us.
The pain of the world we are blind “when death closes our eyes.”
So, “Abandon the deathlife, and reignite the light.”
The woe is me, the woe is you here in our rooms.
So walk with me and I’ll walk with you out of our doom.
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10. |
Fiddleheads
02:19
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“just get by, get by, get by, get by, get by, get by and die.”
If I could just get around to do what I want I’d make my finest art,
grown men cry and young kids rise, melt my mother’s heart.
See the world and show it my soul, fearless as I glow.
But the earth’s not spinning right for me so stay here in my hole.
So hit the alarm. Make that drive. Show up to work.
“Blink. Blink. Blink. And then we die.”
But I don’t wanna just get by.
Good thing I got my Ride or Die’s.
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11. |
Fifteen to Infinity
03:00
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Pause, put the tv remote down and let’s
talk – about the heaven where I’m sitting, in
love – with the nothingness of our night and
all the sounds of this sullen old man saying he loves his life.
I thought you should know what’s on my mind.
Well if I’m gonna die then I wanna die with you right by my side,
Layin there dead in a big ol’ bed after a long and well lived life.
And if I’m gonna live then I wanna live with you right by my side,
hand in hand sitting on a park bench in every stage of life.
Hand in hand since fifteen.
Hand in hand to infinity.
I thought you should know.
Honey, ok, let’s unpause.
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12. |
Going To Die
02:17
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I got that attitude
The one that pulls you through
The death and doom and gloom
So I won’t see you soon
Peace and love to my father I miss you everyday,
But I’ve learned to hear you in the sound of the trees.
All the love to my friends who have died too young,
I hope you are free wherever you have gone.
Cheers and tears to my heroes who have died by suicide,
oh Jean Amery oh how you make me cry.
Hell & death to my demons who wanna see me die: I
just can’t trade all the richness of life.
So see me on the up & up.
I’ll see you on the flip.
See me on the up & up
And I’ll see you on the other side cause I don’t wanna die.
See you on the other side.
I know I will
But I don’t wanna die.
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Fiddlehead Boston, Massachusetts
Boston, USA.
Fiddlehead is
Shawn Costa
Alex Dow
Pat Flynn
Alex Henery
Streaming and Download help
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